Stupid Soldier?

We get in replacements all the time. It is a constant flow of those going home and those just arriving. It is so routine that we really don't think much about it - until yesterday.

We got a message yesterday afternoon from a new troop who had just arrived at BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) who said he had just flown in. We called back to the liaison we have stationed over there to give instructions to the new guy. We were told he had gone to chow.

Good deal. He knows where the chow hall is.

So we left a message with the guy at the airport to tell the replacement to go to Striker Stables and catch the midnight rhino (armored car) over to the IZ (international zone). This involves catching a couple of buses across Victory Base, but people do it every day.

At midnight, we were waiting for this guy to get off the rhino, but he was not there. We figured he must have "missed the bus" so we called over to Striker Stables to schedule him on the morning run. They informed us he had never checked in.

Day one and already lost in Iraq. This is cause for immediate concern! Was he lost or abducted?

After a bit of a search, we discovered that he had gotten on the next flight back to Kuwait. "What? No you have to be kidding." So we waited until the flight arrived and called into air ops down in Kuwait and, sure enough, there he was.

He said he didn't know what to do, and no one was there to tell him what to do, so he got on the next plane out of the country.

Now at this point I was thinking, "Is that all you have to do to get out of here?"

He didn't know what to do so he decided the best course of action was to go to a completely different country. Wow!

We scheduled him on the next plane out of Kuwait back to Iraq. This time we told him to check in at the same desk he had in his first trip and not to move from that spot. I suggested they tie him to a chair.

Meanwhile, we sent someone across Baghdad to escort him to the IZ. In five years literally millions of soldiers have come through Iraq and this is the first time we have had this happen. And this guy has been in the military for over 10 years.

Now, mind you, a year ago I could understand maybe getting off of the plane and being frightened enough to catch the next one out of town, but the shelling has almost stopped. Now there is a general absence of mortar and rocket fire. Besides, he had tasted the chow. He must have known we eat better in Iraq than they do down in Kuwait. Food, shelter, and nobody shooting at you--I just don't understand.

This guy is replacing our computer technician who left last week. He has a lot of work to do; I have my concerns. But then again, this guy has to be an absolute computer genius because he has no common sense.

Or he is the smartest guy to come to Iraq so far because he had the shortest tour of any soldier in this war. That is until we turned him around.

It is going to be a really long year for him.

We have nicknamed him "Boomerang".